Better Late Than Never (Ariel)

Holy fuck. Hunter wasn’t sure if there was a way for his luck to be any worse than it had turned out to be that day. He really needed to start carrying a vial of Felix on him, in case of emergencies – but unfortunately, that wasn’t an option now. The day had started off fine, and Hunter had been in a great mood, for one reason in particular – it was Halloween! And that meant that he not only got to see Ariel that evening, but that he got to return to Hogwarts for a night as well! Although he had to work that day, he’d cleared his entire evening for the ball, which Ariel had invited him to. He’d known about for weeks, and he’d be lying if he said the nostalgia wasn’t hitting him already. And anyway, it had been far too long since he’d seen Ariel – not since the time he’d surprised her after her shift at Zonkos! Which made his track record for visits kind of shit, but he really was doing his best.

Work had dragged on, but eventually – finally – it came time to leave. He’d get off with plenty of time to swing home, get ready, and meet Ariel at the castle before the ball started! Or, so he thought. But only minutes before his shift ended, one of the Senior aurors caught him. ”VanDerberg, don’t go anywhere. We have a lead and we’re down a man. I’m sending you to Surrey with the team. My office in ten.” And that was that. Hunter stood there for a moment, stunned. He was just a trainee, so the chances of him being sent on a job were nearly in the negatives. And yet, tonight – the one night that he’d set aside for something and someone other than work – he was being sent out. And what was he supposed to say? Sorry, sir, I can’t go help you track down an incredibly dangerous dark wizard, because I have to go to a dance at my old school. And wasn’t this why he’d signed up for the job in the first place? To stop wizards from doing to anybody what had been done to Jack. And there was no guarantee that the trail they’d picked up wasn’t Morgenstern himself, so in the end, Hunter had no choice. With any luck, they’d still be done in time for him to meet Ariel.

But it wasn’t that simple. Hunter arrived with the team at an abandoned, and apparently very well warded building, which could house all sorts of curses and spells, and potentially at its core a particularly dangerous wizard controlling it all. And soon, possibly being done in time turned to maybe being a little bit late, and then to hoping that he could make it at all. It took them ages to sort through the building, and in the end, the person they were looking for either escaped, or was never there. And by the time Hunter stepped into his apartment, the hour was nearing eleven. ”Shit,” he muttered – mostly because he’d had no way to get word to Ariel that he’d been held up. He was sure she’d understand when he told her, but for now she must think he’d forgotten, or ditched her entirely. And he’d left Mandrake with Lyn, so even sending an owl was impossible.

But Hogwarts parties usually lasted well into the night – she was probably still there, and Hunter would be damned if he missed out on seeing her entirely because of this shit. So, as quickly as he could, he dawned his suit, made sure his hair was relatively flat, and apparated, his mask hanging from his arm. He doubted everyone was still wearing them, anyway. By the time he made it to the castle from Hogsmeade, it was past eleven thirty. When Hunter stepped through the gates, the castle looming over him, the nostalgia that was bugging him earlier hit him harder than ever, and he broke into a run, bounding the last bit of distance between himself and the castle. Wasting no time in pulling open the front door, which felt wonderfully familiar in his hand, Hunter let himself inside, his feet pulling him toward the great hall, where Ariel was surely at with some of their friends. But then, as he closed the door behind him and turned around, his eyes caught a figure making her way up the stairs, and he called after her instantly, still slightly winded from running.

”Ariel!” It was almost impossible to tell it was her, from the back. But Hunter knew it was her. She looked stunning, obviously – but more so than usual, which wasn’t exactly easily achievable in her case, considering her Veela blood. He crossed the entrance hall, drawn toward her like a magnet, but stopped at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at her with an apologetic face. ”Holy shit, Ariel, I’m so sorry . They sent me on a job at work, and I had to go and I thought I’d still make it on time but it took longer than I thought. I got here as soon as I could, I ran all the way from Hogsmeade, and – “ But he cut himself off after a moment, his brow furrowing. ”Wait, are you leaving? Is it over?” Hunter asked, but the music from the Great Hall answered his question for him. It wasn’t over. Late, but not over. Why was she leaving already? All of her friends couldn’t have gone to bed already.  ”Are you okay?”

Throughout the entire evening, every goddamned time people had passed through the doors of the Great Hall, Ariel's head had snapped to the entrance to see if maybe it was finally Hunter arriving. But the clock was nearing eleven thirty, and he had still yet to arrive. At first Ariel had figured that it was Hunter, he'd have a pretty good reason for why he hadn't shown up. And she had continued hoping he would show. Until right about the time when the clock had struck eleven. Not only had she stopped believeing he would actually show, she'd stopped excusing his tardiness as well. What if he'd just forgotten? Ariel knew it was pretty unlikely that this was the case, because it was Hunter. But he had really exhausting weeks behind him, and he had a lot of work to do, so of course some things were doomed to slip his mind.

Only problem was, Ariel never thought she'd slip his mind. And the idea that he might've set off a nasty feeling in her stomach. Like if someone had punched her. But it wasn't just that he'd as good as stood her up, it was just that... that he wasn't there. And Ariel hated that feeling. She hated having Hunter be gone from her for so long. It was as if a piece of her was missing, and this was a piece that made her feel happy and safe and loved, and it was just as present as Hunter was. Ariel had never thought of herself as someone who needed someone to lean on, but she supposed she'd never really understood just how much she had leaned on Hunter during the years at Hogwarts, and how much she had enjoyed consoling him, caring for him. It almost made her feel queasy that she hadn't seen it all before.

You don't know a good thing until you loose it. Ariel shook her head. She was overreacting. She hadn't lost Hunter, he just didn't have time to visit. She only had one more year, she only had a couple of more months, and then she'd be free to do exactly what she wanted. Ariel was thrown off her train of thoughts when what she wanted floated before her as an image of herself and Hunter. They were just walking through the streets. Just walking, but... Ariel shook her head again and looked around the Great Hall to make sure no one was watching her. The pain in her stomach had changed. It was hollow now. Feeling as if something had been dropped. In her mind, they'd been holding hands. And the idea terrified her as well as an electric feeling flew through her. No. Ariel shut her eyes and grit her teeth. Because Hunter wasn't there.

Ariel felt her stomach churn. No, it was time to leave now. People were still having fun, the party was still amazing. But she'd lost the mood. Besides, she'd danced enough. She'd danced with many people. With her friends. And she'd had a good time. So she'd take those memories with her as she donned the mask again and left the Great Hall. Despite the massive structure of the room, the air suddenly seemed too tight for her. She considered for half a moment to just leave the castle and sit somewhere outside, but the idea of sleeping was too appealing. Sleeping would mean she could forget the fact that Hunter hadn't shown. So she turned to the stairs and had gotten a fair bit up the first landing when someone shouted her name. Ariel stopped dead, much like what she'd done in Hogsmeade, though this time, she had no intentions of screaming. Because the joy that he had actually showed up was -albeit powerful- nothing on the pain that he had missed everything up until that point. Ariel let her shoulders slump, and she turned around. Her hand travelled to her face and removed her mask.

Hunter looked amazing in the suit, and it was easy to see that the auror training was good on his physique, but this only upset Ariel more, because her head was hurting from all the emotions running through her. Why was she even noticing how he looked? It didn't bloody matter! But here she was, thinking to herself that he was one of the most handsome people she had ever seen. His face was in an apologetic mask, and Ariel found herself walking down the stairs slowly when he started to apologize as well. Ariel wanted to be mad at him. She was mad at him. But she also understood. Because he was never called out on a job, and when he was, of course he had to take it. But she was still hurt. Hadn't they made a deal that nothing, nothing would trumph each other? Was an auror position all it took to destroy that promise? But that was also unfair, because this was a school ball. Didn't Hunter's happiness and success in an auror position matter more than that? Of course it did! But still, it was this that had been planned, and Ariel couldn't help but feel a bit wounded by the whole situation.

Ariel shook her head as she reached the bottom of the stairs. She stood by them, though, she didn't move closer to Hunter. She felt like that would just be a bad idea. "No, it's not over," she said, though she was certain the music had cued him in on that. She didn't want to say that, yes, she was leaving, because that would be awkward, and Hunter would feel so bad if he found out why she was leaving. And despite feeling hurt, Ariel would never wish to hurt Hunter. Not intentionally. She tried to smile at him, but it came out weak, and she couldn't hold it in place. "I have a mean headache," she halfway lied. She did have a mean headache, but it wasn't the reason she was leaving. "I guess today just wasn't my day," she added, and quickly realized that this could be linked back to the fact that Hunter had arrived late. But she tried to smile at him again, and this time it felt a bit more confident. However, she felt awkward, and she never felt awkward around Hunter. Never. Not when they'd had a falling out, not when she shouted at him, not when they held each other's hands for comfort, she just didn't. But now she did. Perhaps asking him to the dance had been a horrible idea. "I'll stay now though. Couldn't leave you here to fend for yourself." She kept a playful tone, but Hunter knew her, and the weird, tired, almost monotone tone in her voice would probably be noticed. But she was tired. And she felt as if this subject was pushed, she might start crying for no other reason, or she might start shouting. Or do both.

Something's wrong. From the moment Ariel turned around, Hunter could see it. Even from the bottom of the stairs, everything about her from the way she was standing to the expression on her face when she removed her mask - it was all wrong. Even the way she was walking - slowly, like she was mentally fighting against whatever current was pulling her to him. But however slowly, Ariel descended the stairs, and although he wanted to rush up and meet her halfway he forced himself to wait. Because something was so obviously off, and there was an air about Ariel that made him feel as though he should let her come to him. But just as she nearly reached him, right about when Hunter expected she'd wrap her arms around his neck and relax and tell him what was wrong, something so strange happened that Hunter instantly felt his forehead crease in confusion. Ariel stopped.

The action - or lack thereof - was so unexpected that Hunter just stared at her for a moment, and then looked down at the space between them as though it was a physical, tangible thing. And all at once, before she even spoke, Hunter realized that he had no idea what was going on. Ariel had never been anything but completely open with him - had never refused his comfort when she needed it. But now, the few feet between them felt like a canyon. Hunter raised his eyes to meet hers again, and was frustrated to find that they were empty - unreadable, even to him. Which was good and bad, in some ways. Good, because if it were something serious, he was sure Ariel would let him in. Bad, because he didn't know what it was. Maybe he was just imagining it - maybe he was just tired from his obnoxious day, and he wasn't reading her right. But when Ariel opened her mouth to speak, he was assured that wasn't the case. Her normally musical sounding voice was - wrong. Off. That's how this whole thing felt. Just off. And he frowned when Ariel tried to force a smile, as though he was too ignorant to see straight through it. As though he hadn't seen straight through it the moment he saw her.

First of all, she completely ignored his apology, which was unlike her. But Hunter could brush that off as being distracted by the rest of what he had to say. What he couldn't brush off was that she wasn't telling him the truth. And between the distance that was still between them and the monotone sound of her voice and how stiff she was, Hunter realized that he'd never seen her this way before. Happy, angry, depressed, confused - he'd thought he'd seen every side of Ariel there was to see. But the way she was now - guarded was the only word Hunter could find that seemed to match. And she'd never guarded herself, in all the years he'd known her. Not from him. And he hesitated only for a moment before responding. "You're lying," he replied, though his voice wasn't accusatory. Just knowing. Why was she lying to him?

It took him a few moments, but eventually, it started to dawn on him. It was him. Or at least, partly. What other reason was there for her to be so distant toward him, if it was anything else. Though, could he blame her? Hunter wasn't sure why he'd expected that she'd take this with a grain of salt. She was angry at him for being so late, and she should be, and Hunter felt another wave of guilt wash over him. "Ariel, I really am sorry," he said almost desperately, looking up at her. "I know I promised, and I meant it, and you have no idea how much I was looking forward to seeing you." Because it had been so long since he'd seen her - only since the second time since summer. "And I know that I've been a shit friend lately," he added, his tone still apologetic. "I really did try to make it on time."

She really was making an effort to seem normal. But Hunter knew better than that, once again trying to search her face and coming up with nothing. Which left a sharp, unsettling feeling in his stomach, because he wasn't used to not understanding Ariel. "You don't want to stay," he said, shaking his head, as it was the only thing he could gather from the way Ariel was acting that he was certain of. Hunter looked down once more before stepping through the invisible wall she'd put between them without another thought, tired of feeling separated from her. "We can just hang out in the common room," he said, reaching for Ariel's hand. "Or walk outside or something - whatever you want to do." Anything besides standing here as uncomfortably as they were now. "I mean, I came for you, not the party," he told Ariel, looking down at her now that he'd climbed the few stairs that had separated them.

Ariel knew that Hunter was frustrated, but what right did he have to be frustrated? What, wasn't he smart enough to understand that she was disappointed in him, that he hadn't shown up? That was her initial thought, but once again, she was caught knowing that Hunter had a job and his job was important to him. She shouldn't ask so much of him. She actually felt herself calming down a very tiny bit. But then he said she was lying. It wasn't accusing. It wasn't. Which was a bad thing. Had it been accusing, Ariel could've denied it. But no, Hunter was simply stating a fact, and nothing Ariel said would change it. He knew she was lying, because he knew her. And right now, that wasn't fair! She wanted him to not know him. Right then and there was the first time in her life that she wished that Hunter was a stranger. Not even during the time they stayed apart had she felt like this. But now, in that very moment, she would give anything for him not to know her. She couldn't explain why. But having him know her felt like something too personal in the current situation. Like she was exposed.

She looked down at the ground separating them. For some reason, looking at him only made it worse. For some reason, everything was bad. She felt so awkward. Her dress felt too tight, and she was both freezing and boiling at the same time. The same way she did when she was nervous. But this was Hunter, so she shouldn't feel nervous. And this frustrated her more. The anger she'd felt settle was starting to rattle again, and she took a deep breath. She didn't answer his statement. Why would she? She'd been caught lying to Hunter, she wasn't going to keep lying. She grit her teeth; she'd never lied to him. Never. She'd always been honest, so what had changed? She looked to her side, at the walls of the entrance hall. Everything. Everything had changed. He wasn't a student anymore. She was stuck here, with responsibility for the other students. She was one of the eldest. She was Head Girl. She had work. She did so much. And so did Hunter. So she hadn't spoken with him for weeks, except over letters. And even while writing them, she'd been feeling lost.

And then a sense of familiarty struck her. Hunter was apologizing. Again. Like he always would. And Ariel would always tell him to stop apologizing. Because he never intentionally hurt her. Never. But this time, it was different. This time, he'd hurt her in a way she didn't think she could be hurt. And she didn't understand why, which was why she felt so angry. She didn't know what was going on. "Stop," she just said. She finally looked back at him, feeling her face settle in an angry expression. She couldn't stop it. She tried to not be angry with him. It wasn't his fault! "Just, stop apologizing." She was still calm, but her anger was undeniable. And she knew Hunter wouldn't understand. Which frustrated her even more, because she needed someone to understand. She took another deep breath and shook her head. "I- Look, I'm sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me, I just... I can't think..." Ariel trailed off diverting her gaze once again.

But it returned with a fiery passion when he stated that she didn't want to stay. "Yeah? And how would you know that?" she snapped. She froze a bit when he finally closed the distance between them, walking up the steps. She could feel her heart beat against her ribs. It felt so ... unnatural. But it only pounded harder when he continued speaking, reaching for her hand. She let him take it, and felt as if she'd been electrocuted. Why? Did his tardiness really hurt her so bad that she didn't want to be close to him anymore? She craned her neck to look up at him. He really did mean it. He really had come to hang out with her. So why did that hurt so bad? Shouldn't that be exactly what she wanted to hear? After all, he'd said he looked forward to seeing people again, to visit Lyn and all that kind of stuff. So when he now said he had really come for her, why didn't that make her smile? It only left a bitter taste in her mouth.

For a second, she did contemplate walking out of the building with him, just holding his hand and walking- A freezing feeling rushed through her, as if a ghost had just walked into her. Holding his hand, like the image. She pulled her hand out of his as if she'd been burned, not even thinking about what she was doing. She felt scared, she felt like a tiny, insignificant child. And she needed to chase away the feeling. And there was only one way to do it. Chase away the source. Ariel shook her head and turned her head upward again, looking into his eyes. She created a new distance between them again, feeling her emotions still to a frozen cool one. Looking at him she shook her head again. "Just leave, Hunter," she said, feeling an unfamiliar pain in her chest as the words left her lips. "I need you to leave."

Stop. Hunter might not have complied - probably wouldn't have really - if the tone of her voice had been anything else. If she's sounded upset, or forgiving, or even if she'd raised her voice at him at all. But instead, the word was just... cold. And it cut him off instantly, his own words dying in his mouth. But as Ariel repeated herself, her calm tone failed miserably to hide the anger in her eyes, and Hunter felt a bit of irritation flare up in his own chest. Because it was becoming obvious that this wasn't about anything serious. It was just about him being late, or something - and if she wasn't going to tell him what exactly he'd done that had her so angry, and if he wasn't allowed to apologize for what he thought it was, what the hell was he supposed to do? Just stand there and stare at her? Fuck that. He felt his gaze settle into an even look, and didn't say anything for the moment. Until she started talking again, and against his better judgement, he opened his mouth.

"No, you know what? You're right. I'm done apologizing," Hunter replied, not bothering to hide the frustration in his voice. "Because you obviously don't give a shit that I'm here either way." Hunter's eyes met hers, but he still couldn't draw anything from them besides anger, and all of a sudden he wondered when this had happened. When had they become so disconnected? He and Ariel were always on the same wavelength, and it set off an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach that, all of a sudden, they were clashing in a way that they hadn't for years - and even then, they'd only clashed because Hunter had forced it. This was different. This felt more like something had shifted that he wasn't aware of. Had he stayed away too long? Had she decided she didn't want to see him anymore, because he'd had such a hard time making time for her? The idea wasn't ludicrous - only it was, because Hunter knew that Ariel didn't scare very easily. If she did, he wouldn't have had to hurt her so badly last time to push her away.

"How do I know that?" Hunter retorted back, his tone a bit incredulous. "Am I not supposed to know that? I know you Ariel, I can tell. You don't want to stay. I just don't know why." Because you won't tell me. Hunter was done with this beating around the bush and pretending to have a massive headache when obviously there was something going on shit. He was done with it before he'd decided to close the distance between them. But when he reached for her hand and Ariel ripped hers away a second later, as though she'd rather die than let him touch her, he was more than done with it. "Holy fuck Ariel, what's wrong with you?" he finally snapped, his voice raising slightly - though, it echoed unnecessarily off of the empty walls of the entrance hall. "Is this seriously because I was late? I hope not, being that I'm not allowed to apologize for that. And if you don't want me to apologize, and you won't tell me what else I did, what the hell am I supposed to do?" There was part of him that was really asking, and he felt the confusion break into his voice. Because he was at a loss.

Hunter could see it - the change in her eyes. Ariel was building a wall. Pushing him out. He knew, because he'd done it to her before. And already, he was weighing his options on how to handle it from this side. But then, she spoke up, and Hunter looked down at her in surprise. Leave. He felt his mouth hang open a bit, because despite the strangeness of this, and how pissed she seemed, that was the last thing he'd expected to hear. Leave. Instantly, his subconscious butted against the word, trying to throw it out of his mind. Because wasn't what he and Ariel had the polar opposite of that? Sure, they didn't always agree, and they fought, and they had their moments - but leave? He'd had to chase her away, and she expected him just to go? Just like that, because she said so? And Hunter looked down to meet her eyes to tell her so - to tell her that she was crazy to think he'd just walk away.

But then, he hesitated. Because just one look at her face was enough to prove that she'd really meant it. And despite how different she was acting, Hunter recognized instantly that that was the difference between them. He pushed people out when he needed them. And Ariel was always the one to stay no matter what he threw at her. But Ariel - she didn't push him out. Ever. She'd never been to afraid to say she needed him, and she'd never avoided him and never told him to leave when she'd wanted him around. She didn't work like that. Even now, she didn't work like that. She wanted him to go - she wouldn't have said it if she didn't. And wasn't that always how they worked, anyway? It was always so much harder for him to let her go than to stay - and he always seemed to be faced with this decision where staying was the selfish choice.

So, as much as he wanted to stay and force an explanation out of her, he already knew that it wasn't an option. It wouldn't get him anywhere, and they would only fight more. So, after another moment of hesitation, Hunter nodded. "Fine," he replied through gritted teeth, feeling unusually hurt by the whole situation now that the anger had worn off a bit. Agreeing to go was hard enough, so he didn't bother to hide the bitterness in his voice as he backed away from her. "If that's what you want." Turning away from her wasn't easy, but he did, and it only took a few moments to reach the doors. When he did, he reached for the handle, but turned back to look at her. "If there's something actually wrong, let me know," he told her irritably, before continuing with a slightly sarcastic tone. "And you look great, and I've missed you, by the way - I don't think you gave me a chance to tell you that." With a last look at her face, Hunter turned and pulled the door open, plunging back outside into the cold air, slamming it closed behind him.

Though his words hurt her, presuming to know that she didn't want him to be there, that she didn't give a shit, she didn't object. Because she did give a shit that he was there, but he was too late. He was just... too late. But that couldn't honestly be all there was to it, could there? She couldn't possibly be so angry at him for simply arriving late, after all they'd been through. But she kept building a defense, kept keeping him out, even though she didn't want to. It wasn't about him. It was about her. She knew that. She had understood a bit more now. Her hand could still feel his skin. And it made her blood churn. At least, that's what she convinced herself that it did. She kept watching him, and the more she did, she felt herself grow distant.

His reasons was nothing she could argue. He did know her. That was why this was so frustrating. If he didn't, it would be a whole lot easier. I just don't know why he said. Ariel swallowed. If only she knew. Then she could fix this. But she didn't want to fix this. She really didn't. Not today. It was too hard. She couldn't deal with this. Not on top of everything else she was doing. This was just too much. And if he did know her, he should've figured that out already. For a second, when the confusion was clear in his voice, she just wanted to take a break, sit down, give up, try to figure it out with him. But the second passed too quickly, and she kept drifting away from him. Not even the look of surprise on his face when she told him to leave stopped her from building up a wall. Was this doomed to be an eternal circle between them? When would Hunter shut her out the next time?

And her heart stopped for half a second. That was it. That was the root of her problem. He hadn't shown up. He'd shut her out before, because she cared too much, because he couldn't take anyone caring about him, but still needing it. Not wanting to need anyone. And then he hadn't shown up. He'd been unreliable. And Ariel almost started crying in anger, because she cared more about him now than she had then, and in her mind, that meant he would turn her away. And she couldn't take that again. So she wanted him gone, she wanted him away. Anywhere but here. And the word 'fine' had never heard so good in all her life. He was leaving. Thank Merlin! But the relief of that fact almost made her crumble, and she couldn't do that. And then he was turning away from her. "It is," she said coolly, as if she needed to state that to herself as much as make a stab at him.

Ariel stood tall, watching him turn back to her when he reached the doors. She didn't reply to what he said, just grit her teeth. And then he continued on talking. He was making a stab at her now. And it hit her good, just like the doors hit the frame as he slammed it shut after himself. And the echo lasted for a long time. She wanted it to end, but when it did, the silence was even worse. The sensible part of her mind shouted and screamed at her to run after him. But her gut told her to just leave. And that's when it all hit her. What she'd done. She had always wanted to be the one Hunter could depend on for anything, but tonight, she failed him. Like he had failed her. "At least we're even," she mumbled sourly. The sound of her own voice, though, stopped her and she slid down, falling onto the stony steps. "Damn."

She didn't know how long she sat there, but it couldn't be too long; the party was still going on like there was no tomorrow. She finally rose up and trudged up the stairs. She had only gotten into the girls' dormitory when she fell onto her bed and looked into the room. She'd never felt so empty before.