"Dear John" (John's Diary)

I'm not greeting a book like a fucking thirteen year old girl. This is meant to put my private thoughts in this. And if I end up loosing it and somebody reads it, then fuck you. So, I think this would be a good idea. I don't know. I saw it in one of those muggle movies once a long time ago and the event just occurred to me. First, I guess I should introduce myself... This is awkward... I feel like I'm talking to myself and I belong in a mental hospital. But the name is John. John Smith. As cheesy as it sounds that may or may not be my real name. Now my birth name is the same as a gay ass snowman from some stupid kid movie that makes me want to blow my brains every time I see or hear it. But what ever. They just scarred my childhood, even though it was already scarred.

Well, I live in Norway currently and take frequent vacations from time to time. I don't really have a permanent place to live. Right now I own a store and it has a flat above it that I live in. It's nice and roomy and just perfect for the time being. If I plan on doing any illegal shit, I'll have to move, and change my name... again... Which is the fun part. If anybody reads this, they might be permanently mentally unstable, and might have a room in the psych ward next to me. But, let's face it, meeting me might be the most coolest thing you've ever done in your short life.

Maybe in my next entry, I'll make time to get personal. Or maybe not... Maybe, just maybe, you'll get to know the real John Smith who isn't really John Smith. But who knows. Maybe i'll just get lazy and not write at all. Maybe this book was just a waste of galleons. Maybe just maybe...

I'm not signing off like a fucking thirteen year old girl.